IDENTIFYING RELATIONSHIP INCOMPATIBILITIES
Your mind is a wonderful and powerful tool that can work wonders when used correctly. However, there are parts of the mind that are not particularly beneficial to you. Your mind relies strongly on that sense of security and familiarity, so it will prefer to remain in that place of comfort, even when they may be uncomfortable situations.
During this stage of your healing process, the mind will forget all the unpleasant memories of your previous partner after a breakup or divorce,leaving you only with the sweet times you shared.
This escape may drive you to experience confusion, doubt and developing a guilty conscience, leading you to believe it’s in your best interest to rekindle the relationship. In order to help you break that urge to go back to your ex, you have to remind yourself why the relationship ended in the first place and what didn’t align with you within that relationship.
We spoke about the difficulty of your mind learning to accept the reality of life without your previous partner. However, there is another aspect to the acceptance of this reality.
According to studies, when someone is in love, those sensations trigger a part of the brain that almost mimics the same kind of reaction a person addicted to cocaine might have; in other words, you become addicted to your partner.
Your mind will fight for every reason to go back to that “safe zone”, it will ignore every obstacle between you as a couple and the toxic misbehaviors of your ex.
Today I want you to look at your past relationship from the standpoint of your negative emotions and recall all the situations that ended you being unsatisfied. The exercises over the last few days were designed to show you the right perspective of the whole situation and to ease your acceptance.
As soon as you flip that switch in your mind and reveal the truth behind the failure of the relationship, your mind’s desire to run back to that “comfortable” and familiar environment will ease.
Action step:
List all the undesired characteristics that your ex partner displayed or all the behaviours that didn’t resonate with you.
● What are the negative feelings that these characteristics evoke?
● List all the behaviors you didn’t admire about them.
● Why didn’t you like when they behaved this way?
● List all the situations that caused you to feel unhappy in yourrelationship.
● List all the times that you have felt disappointed, abused, small, orignorant.
● List all the triggers that were the cause of a fight or argument.